I feel like I am truly a broken person, there are aspects of me that come off as aggressive, but I don’t mean to cause harm or discomfort in any way. That is never my intention, but I always feel like I take a step forward in keeping myself in check and then at some point taking three steps back in that regard. I usually have some control of it and keeping it in check most times, but that becomes difficult when I’m intoxicated. I love to have a drink now and again and make cocktails, I’m not an alcoholic, I have at most 10-15 drinks a week and don’t drink to get drunk. I’m trying to see a therapist again and look into electro convulsive therapy to hopefully balance myself out. I just don’t want to lose any more friends and try and get back the ones I lost. I feel like I deserve to be alone, so that I don’t cause anyone harm or pain. I just hope that the next steps I take forward will lead to me repairing myself and fixing the relationships I’ve broken.