I'm not sure what's wrong with me these days. I've finally done what my suicidal teenaged self had been trying to do all those years so that I'd be "ready to leave"- I've lost almost all of my ties to the important people in my life. I don't write, or call anymore. There's no point. Even though I've been trying so hard, I've never felt more lost. I don't know what I'm doing. Don't know where I'm going. I'm just drifting from one day to the next. I don't sleep unless I'm doped up or drunk out of my mind. I can't keep doing this, but I don't know what else is left.