My health has been gradually declining but I'm really young. I've met someone who I hold so dear to me as a sister and she has bad anxiety like I do. My health has really been declining and I don't plan on living past thirty honestly. However recently my health has been really bad and I want to tell her cause this could possibly be fatal but I don't want her to worry. I've been lying to her about it all just saying things have been an overreaction when I know they haven't been. I might have to even go to the hospital but I don't wanna scare her. I don't wanna tell her but at the same time I don't want her to feel like my health is her responsibility or that I was a jerk for hiding it from her. I just want to keep seeing her smiling but I'm nearly following the same path as my father who died when I was like 11. I don't want to lie to her and tell her that everything is gonna be fine like my dad did, that left me with so many regrets. But at the same time I don't want her knowing and getting anxious about it. I'm just so incredibly scared and I want to lean on her for help but at the same time I just don't want her getting anxiety from me. There's no one I can talk to about this either, I just feel so much guilt either way because of what my Dad did with me. That was the best way to do it but at the same time it hurt me somewhat. But it is less painful than knowing that someone is dying in front of your eyes. I'm just.. hurting and stuck. I don't wanna live but I can't leave my sister alone in this world. I'm so lost.
6 months ago
Your posting anon so for that reason I expect that you're ready for anon responce so I will speak brutally plainly....
If you do not tell her you will fuck her up alot more than what you think you are protecting her from.
Your reasons for why you aren't telling her is because of what YOU have felt with YOUR OWN past experiences. She is not you and I guarentee that she will feel much worse than what you think yoir protecting her from if you don't speak up.
If you're as closer as you say you are yes she will feel anxious. She will feel worried and be a sad but she knows. If she loves you she will try and support you as much as she can.
If you do not tell her and then she discovers that you didn't imagine what that alone would do to her? That would really fuck her up. She would question why she wasn't told. Did you not trust her? Were you not as close as she thought? I know that's not the case, but imagine what her mind would do?
You neex to be honest to this girl and open up. It'll be hard but the alternative would be devastating on her