I am 17 years old, last night I totaled by car, I got it for Christmas and now I'm carless and in a pit of depression, I've been crying every moment since. it was a cheap Honda Civic I was gifted after years of yearning for freedom. schools been shut down and it was the only thing giving my and social life, before I was able to handle all the emptiness because I had something to look forward too. but. now I can feel my families hatred towards me. I live with my mom and my brother, me and my brother don't have a good relationship he hasn't even asked if im ok even though I lost a bit of my memory and am suffering from a lot of body pain. no other cars were involved so I guess im grateful for not hurting anyone.but my mom before only talked to me once a day to make sure I've eaten and nothing else, when I called her after the accident the first thing she did was yell at me even after I told her I was hurt. she said I had school tomorrow and that I should've went home right after work and accused me of seeing a boyfriend I don't have. iWork until 11 at night and have been overwhelmed, my last days supposed to march 26th and was looking forward to having a nice summer. but all my freedom was stripped from me the moment I crashed. I've been delirious and have been thinking about killing myself. my car was the only thing the only thing that gave me power and independence from my life. my w=mom almost hit me today when I told her i wished I had died from the crash because my my only happiness was stripped from me. I don't know what to do my parents have lost faith in me and even if I manged to get a new car the insurance would be too high for me to continue paying it with my min wage salary. my dad lives with his parents in new Hampshire because he doesn't work anymore and ran off a few years back. every time he would call me was when he was asking about my car. my friends are pretty dismissive about it and brushed it off with the "women moment" phrase or just an aw I hope you feel better. but I can't blame them even if I genially thought I was going to die they're not obligated to cry with me. my life on pause again and im scared about what im going to do to myself.