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I've never felt love and it sucks. I grew up in a mentally and emotionally abusive home. I've never had a relationship and I'm now 25. It's not that I don't want love because believe me I do, I just genuinely don't know how. It's a foreign concept to me and I hate that. I'm a stranger to my own self, I push away anything or anyone who gets close to me. It's a cycle of self repeating isolation I don't know how to break. What's possibly the saddest part and the reason I'm currently writing this is that I just woke up from sleep. I dreamt of being in love, like true deep love and now that I'm awake I'm heart broken. Pretty sad lol. If I could live in a dream I would. I'm so tired of always being alone. I have no idea how to love anyone including myself. I'm so tired of the cold lonely path I've had to walk my whole life but I have zero idea of how to get off. I get told by friends as a joke that I'm going to die alone because of my cold bitchy personality and I honestly believe it. 😮‍💨

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