there's this amazing, sweet girl. her name starts with a T, i've never met or heard of someone with same the name, which is why i like her name so much. it's unique and kinda cute. we met in may of 2018. in a stupid game called overwatch. we didn't even meet in an actual match, we met in a custom game. we didn't actually talk that day, but we saw each other again haha. the first time we invited her to a party, she didn't talk at first, she didn't have a mic and she was too shy. a couple months later though, she got a mic and started to open up more. she has one of the cutest voices i've ever heard haha. she makes these weird ass voices sometimes too. she was very shy at first, but we've known each other for over 2 years now. we know a lot about each other now. her favorite color is yellow. she loves animals, like rats and bunnies. she has 2 middle names, not just one. she's been with me through so much, and i've tried to be there for her just as much. she makes me feel so much better whenever im upset. she always makes me smile or laugh. she means so much to me. it's so hard to put my thoughts about her into words. i love her so much and i wish i could tell her or show her how much i care. she makes me want to live. she's made me a better person. she means everything to me. i'd die without her. i would be dead by now if it wasn't for her. i wish i could tell her how much i care, how much i love her, but i can't. i don't want to ruin our friendship. i don't want to risk it when it isn't even worth risking.. I love her so so much. she makes me so happy, and so fucking sad. i love her more than anything. i've only ever loved one person like this before, and that girl completely broke me. im so scared that that's going to happen again. everytime i've even gotten close to telling her i choke up and start to cry. so, im just gonna keep my mouth shut. im gonna put on this fake ass mask and act like im fine whenever we talk or hang out. i wish i could tell her this stuff that's been eating me up for these past two years. im sorry oof.