I don't like touching myself, to me it's a temporarily pleasure that it doesnt exactly feel good either..
I don't do it because I like it either..
Its an addiction for me, Im aware of that ..
I do it mostly when I feel really down and bad about myself.. when I feel rejected and unloved..
Not even when I'm aroused..
I even force myself to feel it ..
I tell myself, I want to feel good but I know I'll feel bad afterwards ..
I can't talk to anyone about this ..
I know why do I feel that way that leads me to do it.. this self destructive behaviour of mine..
I can't make someone love me..
It feels horrible ..