self destructive behaviour

Masturbation addiction

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I don't like touching myself, to me it's a temporarily pleasure that it doesnt exactly feel good either..

I don't do it because I like it either..

Its an addiction for me, Im aware of that ..

I do it mostly when I feel really down and bad about myself.. when I feel rejected and unloved..

Not even when I'm aroused..

I even force myself to feel it ..

I tell myself, I want to feel good but I know I'll feel bad afterwards ..

I can't talk to anyone about this ..

I know why do I feel that way that leads me to do it.. this self destructive behaviour of mine..

I can't make someone love me..

It feels horrible ..

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