This is so peculiar. He is always on my mind, after our one night stand. I have been married for the past 12 years and I feel I am lost somewhere in my life, work and marriage. I feel lifeless, no excitement and the routine stuff makes me cringe. Hence I think that’s why I cheated and the guilt gets to me sometimes. Me and husband have a boring marriage I guess where we have I will say both of us have taken each other for granted. If I don’t initiate I will have cobweb down there. He makes me feel unattractive. My weight /hormonal issues are having a serious impact on me. My self esteem and confidence is low and I have to work on it. I keep chasing my one night stand guy with messages and calls. And he does respond if he wants to. What does that say about me? I need to be kind and loving to my self - self care and love is vital.