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Maybe last note to the public

I'm not sure yet but I think I might just end it soon, I'm kinda done, not with life but with myself. I came to this realization not long ago but I have no redeeming qualities about myself, I'm chronically ill and will be for my while life costing my country literally tens of thousands of dollars per year, physically I'm fucked since I'm so skinny (im a guy so being skinny isn't a benefit) and since I'm ill very weak in multiple ways, I'm not particularly smart doing very average in university (architecture degree in case you are wondering, not that people give a shit about that career it seems) and not very motivated either. Socially I'm worse, I'm dead quiet in public and I hate going out, I have alot of trouble making friends and barely have any in uni.

This is my point I don't think I will contribute much to society since I'm useless in basically every way, and social I'm fully confident Il be lonley for the rest of my life (I'm 22 and never dated). I honestly think offing myself is the way to go, don't have to deal with the shit hand I was given at birth and I can keep my parents thinking I'm not totally useless. The only way I can kill myself will be by getting in an "accident", not sure how, maybe go mountain biking and "fall" head first of a small cliff I know, everyone will just see it as unfortunate, or just slip on a light rail line, it gets freezing here and I would have to wait till winter, but if I slip than no one will think I did it on purpose.

I just want this to be something like my last note to the public, a note from a useless shitbag that has never done anything worthwhile and never will.

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Re: Maybe last note to the public

I don't want to spout rainbows and sunshine but here's my take. I'm also chronicly ill and I'm only 25 and having my job get mad at me for not being able to do what I could when i got hired. Fuck the government, spend the next 80 years sucking up what you can, if you don't then some billionaire will make a few more bucks. Be a hero bro. Be selfish. Maybe eat an extra meal, idk your situation with the weight but I worry. Life sucks and people suck more so fuck em. Do you and take what you want, don't feel bad.

I'm sure I have no knowledge about the feelings you're experiencing right now but you'll surely triumph if you stay afloat....

It all starts with having the right state of mind....we all think "oh, everyone thinks I'm useless" but reality is..we all think about ourselves and how people see us and those people are equally thinking about themselves and how we see them..... Life goes in circles

No one is born a complete failure, God is not so wicked as to send you to earth without equipping you with backups.... We just have to take time and find it out

Try making online friends dear ❤