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Me and Mom

When i was 12 I used to think why certain weird things happen to me only .

I was good at studies specially Maths.

I was the topper of the class. But as normal girls i never got attention from any boys :(

I used to think that i was a lobster who would never find a mate.

Then after few days, a boy from my colony started giving attention and i used to ignore him because i did not like these thing in person. As long as Crush is the case i would be fine. I was a very shy, introvert and less attention seeker in parties.

My mom had some ideals which i firmly believes but some of her behaviors has impacted a larger part of my life


Now, when i grow in a society full of men, i agitate or run away or feel embarrassed for no reasons .

Why?