hey peeps . I have no idea why am I so cheerful rn. I just had the longest depressing period of my life, it felt like a decade istg. anyways, i'm not here for that. i thought i don't care bout my parents anymore (as in their care for me), turns out I still desire the attention of a loving parents, y'know. yall must be confused, well i'm the middle child :) . of a siblings of 7 . great :) . very. until recently, they've always given so much attention to my older brothers and younger siblings especially the ones that are at home with them. i'm living in a boarding school and my bros are in university. they would always ask for their health and well being and other stuff bout their life. tbh, i don't know if they're giving much attention to my younger siblings at home while we're away but they seem to be doing well while we're back at home for holiday. so, my younger sis just texted me how lonely and strayed she felt. she's the next sibling of mine so she's the oldest at home. we have a babysitter who cares for our other younger siblings. my sis told me that our parents kept talking bout politics and stuff even at the dining table. sigh. yeah, that pissed me off.there's nothing much to do at our home honestly. it's a gov's house so we didnt buy much furnitures to make the house more lively. basically, my sis have nothing to do other than studying and play with her phone. i'm telling u, that house is so boring, that's why i dont go back home for holiday unless my big bros are. literally hav nothing to do there and all these pandemic had to make it worse for her. tv? yes we do have em but idk it still feels boring with it. istg that house has a diff vibe than what a cozy home should have. i genuinely feel sooo bad for her.i know how lonely and boring it feels to sit there in that house for a long time. i went back home before the lockdown started last year and I had to stay there for 7-8 months. it drove me crazy. all i did was wake up, hang out at my balcony, listening to depressing songs and back to sleep. i didnt eat much. i felt so empty i feel like killing myself. my dad still had to go to work. my mom just stayed in her room, only comes out when she needs to cook.tbh, sometimes, i dont feel like i'm home at all when my mom is around. yeah she's my step mom and i'm still unable to let my guard down with her. it's been 4 years we live together and I cant seem to get use to her. at least i could bring myself to call her 'mom'. her cooking is so damn good too. every time i go to the kitchen to learn to cook some stuff, she had to come down and starts to comment. i know she's trying to help but since i'm not quite well intimate with her, i feel uncomforable with her comments and felt judged, y'know. i couldnt help but feel like that. aight back to my sis. so yeah i feel bad for her and stuff. now it makes me think that my parents have becoming more uncaring? is that the right word? if there's any better word for it, please do let me know :). that's why i hate parents in general. they decided to have kids, then take good fucking care of them. you forcefully brought us into this fucking corrupted and gloomy world, left us alone and made us more depressing than ever. THANKS. i know not all parents are like this. this type of parents is not that bad compared to parents who beat their kids up or make their kids do drugs, yeah that's worse. there are so many more examples, but im sorry in my eyes, ima put this type of parents in this category. i find them irresponsible. i just hope that they realize that their kids have been living a hell and help them before it's too late. and for parents who totally dont give a single fuck on their kids, well fuck you and i hope yall rot in hell. how could you guys, be living so happily while your kids are suffering? for the parents who are also been suffering, you still have to care for your kids since you're the one who brought them here, it was your decision. for the ones who got it by force, im very sorry for you and i cant say anything bout u guys. it's been hard for yall and it must be really hard to raise them. though im not saying that you can leave them be like that.. for the ones who are busy, yeah sure yall are busy to pay for your family, but at least let them know you love them, like tell them every morning or write it on a paper and stick on your fridge or smtg. actually, idk anymore now that i think bout it, i feel like im kinda wrong now BUT some of them are right. the point is please take care of them regardless of how hard your life is. im not tryna be selfish here, they're just kids who doesnt know how to cope with this big world and need a lot of attention.i dont care what my parents wanna do with me but I care for the others. seeing my parents not giving a fuck bout me doesnt hurt me, but seeing other kids who deserve lots of love being ignored hurts me. knowing that they are the ones who decided to have a kid and then not caring for them pissed me off.gosh that's a long piece of crap i wrote. to lovely peeps who read all this rubbish all the way to here, i really appreciate for spending ur precious time for this selfish kid. i just wanted to vent out my anger to my parents for what they've done to my sis. here lots of love from me to uuu~~<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3have a great day lovelies.