harassment
violation
response
harm

mental experiment turned sexual harassment? (please reply)

Time Spent- 29m
23 Visitors

posted about this earlier, but got no response. not even emojis. I don't want to be annoying about this, but my counseling appointment for the anxiety this is causing me isn't for another two weeks, so in the meantime, I could really use some viewpoints on the matter


anyway, so


this one time in high school I was worrying about possibly being a pedophile (long story) so when I walked past a kindergarten on my way home I tried to look at the asses of the kids playing in the yard, but couldn't do that for even a second before I was repulsed and the rest of my mind forced me to look away. after a few seconds I did it again, with similar results. I experienced no sexual pleasure or drive during this, and have come to the definite conclusion later on that I'm not a pedophile


but now, a whole lot of years later, I'm worried that the experiment itself, deliberately repeatedly looking at kid asses like that, constituted sexual harassment and/or violation of those kids the way being a peeping tom would, even if I derived no pleasure from it and could only do it for an instant each time in between longer pauses. part of me is telling me I'm freaking out over nothing and that, even though it was unwise to be doing experiments like that at all, no harm ended up coming out of it... but I need an outsider's perspective