mental health

Time Spent-
4 Visitors

i’m a 15 year old girl and i’ve been struggling my whole life, i don’t want to self diagnose, but i think i have anxiety, depression etc. it’s ruining my life. i never realised how bad my mental health was until november 2019 and ever since then i’ve been trying to hint to people that i need mental help but no one understands. i’m very shy so it terrifies me to ask for help. it’s now january 2021 and i’m still in the same position and have just kept quiet about all of this for over a year. my life has not been that traumatic: i’ve had open heart surgery so i was in and out of hospital as a child, i was badly bullied, had very bad body dysmorphia up until last year, my dad is quite toxic, i’ve done things that i was not meant to do, had depression most of my childhood and i feel very paranoid 24/7 everything scares me and i feel like i have no one to talk to. i have these really intense intrusive thoughts that are draining. i have thoughts such as being jealous of other peoples trauma, i literally don’t understand why in the world i would be jealous of other peoples struggles, i just want all of it to go. so ye someone help me :)