Messing up things is a part of who I'm. And I'm proud of me for that because it defines me in a way. Why I do that? Because of a lot of emotions. I feel a lot of emotions every now and then. I'm feeling the pain currently.. almost everyday. I cry, I hide my pain, don't share it anyone, bcoz I don't have anyone who would really understand me. But it's okay. I've myself to cheer me up during those times. It's not loneliness, my friend. It's the process of finding yourself, finding who you really are! There are times when I completely give up on myself. But it's the very next moment, where I rise up and try to correct my behavior. You know, we all require high maintenance! That is so huge task to do!But we do it anyway, by hook or by crook.You MESS UP things, you RISE, you TRY to correct it, you GROW UP! This is whole circle of life, I guess.