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How to clean the mess..is there a way out??

Its complicated yeah its so complicated that i dont know how to describe the mental dilemma in words exactly.

its not about my love life nothing like that. I sometime wish I had an elder mature brother who could have guided me in times like these

See the whole thing begins from here my grandfather have four children,my bade papa 2 buaas and my papa .Out of them we are only concerned about my bade papa buaa and my papa... each of them have 2 children i.e. I have 4 cousins

my eldest cousin would be around 32 in age ,then 29,26 and 25 . I and my sister are 20 and 21 repectively so there is a clear gender gap..

The problem I face is that all my 4 cousins are very interconnected with each other my sister and i feel left out at certain points.We have always been raised by our parents in such a way that uptil 17 years of age we hardly communicated with them and had our sole focus on our career.So automatically we grew up socially awkward and the situuation worsens a lot when there is some family event.

So my extended familyy expects us to be connected and tell when we are leaving for home and all that stuffs and I am .......................................i cannot write my problem further so just posting