(Apologies if this is difficult to read, I didn't bother trying to proof read it) My mother is an alcoholic. She has been for years. I know she doesn't want to admit it but I know how addicted she is, and has been for years. It's come to a point where even when she's sober, my natural instinct is to be cautious. Thankfully, most of the time it feels like how it did when I was younger and we had a strong bond. Recently, we had a huge mishap between my father, my mother, and I. It led to me finally telling her for the first time in my life how she treats me and how bipolar and unpredictable she can be when she drinks. Obviously when I was younger I never recognized this as a serious issue at all until when I was around 10 or 11 and she always made me feel self conscious. She goes to extremes when she's drunk. She has never threatened death or anything too bad but things like divorce, full on leaving, or telling my father to leave the house over something small like not picking up a sock that accidentally fell somewhere. It has led my father and I to believing that she has some type of mental illness. She definitely has some type of social anxiety disorder and I believe a minor bi polar disorder. I know she would never see a therapist since that's a majorly stigmatized in Japan (where she's from) and talk to them in any type of way. She's threatened divorce many times and jokes about it for reasons that make absolutely no sense. It really pains me to come home everyday from school and for her to already be gone. She's not stupid, yet she won't listen. I finally had the courage to tell her the pain she's caused me when she's under the influence and she still won't listen. I've told her, the only reason why we have so many issues as a family is because she gets drunk everyday starting at 3-4 pm. She's often quite manipulative as well. I'm worried for her health incredibly but also mine as well. I'm only 15, I just became a sophomore and I just want to really start being able to focus on school but it's hard when I'm too busy trying to be a mother and to my own mother. I know she loves me, but she won't stop. She won't listen. Her memory is also starting to fade even though she's still so young and she'll probably develop some liver problems soon. I just want my mom back. Not this alcoholic in her stead for basically 24/7. I want to cry but I'm just so used to everything she does. I just want to love my mother without fear. I love her with my whole heart. I just want my bestfriend back :( I barely see her even when we live under the same damn roof. I love her and watching her waste her life away since I was young is something I'm so used to that it's concerning that it is. I would love to talk to my friends but I don't want to bother them. I just want mama back. (Note: When I was younger her drinking wasn't as bad as it is now, she never got drunk every night this is just something that has been a progressive thing)

(Apologies if this is difficult to read, I didn't bother trying to proof read it) My mother is an alcoholic. She has been for years. I know she doesn't want to admit it but I know how addicted she is, and has been for years. It's come to a point where even when she's sober, my natural instinct is to be cautious. Thankfully, most of the time it feels like how it did when I was younger and we had a strong bond. Recently, we had a huge mishap between my father, my mother, and I. It led to me finally telling her for the first time in my life how she treats me and how bipolar and unpredictable she can be when she drinks. Obviously when I was younger I never recognized this as a serious issue at all until when I was around 10 or 11 and she always made me feel self conscious. She goes to extremes when she's drunk. She has never threatened death or anything too bad but things like divorce, full on leaving, or telling my father to leave the house over something small like not picking up a sock that accidentally fell somewhere. It has led my father and I to believing that she has some type of mental illness. She definitely has some type of social anxiety disorder and I believe a minor bi polar disorder. I know she would never see a therapist since that's a majorly stigmatized in Japan (where she's from) and talk to them in any type of way. She's threatened divorce many times and jokes about it for reasons that make absolutely no sense. It really pains me to come home everyday from school and for her to already be gone. She's not stupid, yet she won't listen. I finally had the courage to tell her the pain she's caused me when she's under the influence and she still won't listen. I've told her, the only reason why we have so many issues as a family is because she gets drunk everyday starting at 3-4 pm. She's often quite manipulative as well. I'm worried for her health incredibly but also mine as well. I'm only 15, I just became a sophomore and I just want to really start being able to focus on school but it's hard when I'm too busy trying to be a mother and to my own mother. I know she loves me, but she won't stop. She won't listen. Her memory is also starting to fade even though she's still so young and she'll probably develop some liver problems soon. I just want my mom back. Not this alcoholic in her stead for basically 24/7. I want to cry but I'm just so used to everything she does. I just want to love my mother without fear. I love her with my whole heart. I just want my bestfriend back :( I barely see her even when we live under the same damn roof. I love her and watching her waste her life away since I was young is something I'm so used to that it's concerning that it is. I would love to talk to my friends but I don't want to bother them. I just want mama back. (Note: When I was younger her drinking wasn't as bad as it is now, she never got drunk every night this is just something that has been a progressive thing)