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Most of my thoughts and feelings into one article

Time Spent- 7m
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I feel like I shouldn't think like this especially since I'm only 13, and my family thinks that I shouldn't be like this, but its very frustrating that nobody in my family knows how to listen, they say they will but they end up lecturing me on why I'm wrong, I can't talk to my friends because I don't wanna bother anyone. I don't know who I truly am since I act differently with everyone I meet, with different friends I'm either the innocent one the brutally honest one or the shy one, with family I'm always closed off. My parents aren't really good people either since I'm always stuck in the middle, mom talks bad about dad and dad talks bad about mom. My siblings are way older than me and i feel left out, they feel like strangers to me. Sometimes I wonder if I should just leave the world🤷‍♀️ I don't want to sound like an attention seeker either so I don't talk, but I actually want to say a lot of things just never have the chance. I feel very self conscious at times and think people are talking about every little mistake I made it they are making fun of me. Whenever someone says one thing about my looks I start judging myself very harshly while maintaining a friendly look. That's probably why people like to take advantage of me since I don't know how to say no. I just don't wanna deal with this anymore. why do I have to shoulder the responsibility that my dad has to have with school.