I'm 15 years of age, turning 16 in late 2021. I think my mother left me when I was around 2 or 3. I never understood why she would leave my brother, father and I, but I was young and dumb. What would I know? All those years I've told myself I was to blame, I was the reason she was left. I still feel this way sometimes, but I've grown to avoid any talk of a feminine figure in my life.
I've lived without my mother in a household of 2 males, my father and brother, for 13 years. I've taught myself everything a mother would commonly teach her daughter. I've had to be a mother figure to my younger brother, which isn't something I will complain about as know my struggles are but a minor inconvenience to some.
I believe lacking a feminine figure has caused me to grow up avoiding that side completely, however for the first time in around 13 years I think I need her.. everything's going wrong and it hurts. For the first time in my life have I ever wanted to ask for help from her. But I know she doesn't want me back, and that's the hardest part.