so i have never been able to share this with anyone but here goes....When i was in preschool i had a house help who would watch africa magic movies with me.The movies contained sex scenes so i got to learn about it at an early age unfortunately😞Today I'm gonna talk about my story Whenever i watched movies with my step brother he would finger me but at the time i did not understand what was going on☹I always felt it was wrong because even as a child i knew that my private part should not be touched😓I would try to explain what was happening to my mom but refrain because i enjoyed it but i wanted it to stop . Every time i tried to reach out and tlk i felt ashamed that i never once tried to stop him and the fact that i knew he was my step brother i id not want to break up my family or make my mother sick due to her high blood pressure. So i realised the only way to avoid this was to avoid him and forget. But as the days went by i felt angered seeing him walk so freely after molesting me like that. But somehow i managed to control my anger. Later ofc I continued to avoid him and things seemed to be a lot better unti I started noticing how oddly close he was to my sister . I tried to ignore it until one of our househelps told me about how our soldier (who had been with us for the longest time.) told her that my step bro would have sex with my sis in secret . When i heard this i could not believe it . I wanted to ask my sister about it but i was scared that it might've been a misunderstanding on the soldier's side or an unexpected reaction or maybe I was scared to find out anything that could make my life worse than it already was.So I kept quiet and assumed it was all a big fat lie. But in the night i couldn't help but think if he somehow raped her, the thought of that made me feel so angered i did not want her to go through what i did but it also made me feel relieved that i wasn't alone 😥One day when i was so angered i shouted at him and confronted him about it but he acted like he did nothing wrong While I was shouting I wanted my parents who were in their rooms to hear but it was all futile but my sister heard , she asked me to explain to her what he did to me and i did but it seemed like she had never experienced what had happened to me and appeared to be mad at him.I felt like it was so odd that she reacted that way after the story i had of her and him(step bro). i also felt alone knowing i was going thru all this alone. What was odd was that the story came from my soldier who is old and in my book or my perspective old ppl are wise and never tell lies. Anyway later on we moved to a new house so at least the memories werent as overwhelming but i cant say everything got better because of that. He also got o;der and went to college in another county so as to be closer to his mom. So it got less painful since he wasn't around often but not betterevery now and then the memoories of what he did haunted me and sometimes it became all i could think of and i fought this pain alone. I say alone because when i realised that my sis didnt experience what i felt i never mentioned the story and i guess she ended up forgetting. i know one day i wont be able to control myself and tell the truth but thinking on that day im scared my family wont believe me and say i was a kid so maybe i was mistaking him for molesting me Im scared no one will believe me im 16 btw and that stuff happened to me when i was 11 and even in preschool My parents also dont believe in therapists so im also scared when i come out and i need the most help i will be alone again ad i would have suicida thoughts . Any advice???