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My Bisexual Dreams

As a confused teenage girl on her journey of self discovery, there are many dreams in the back of my mind. Dreams of love, of acceptance, of purpose. Dreams where I can be myself and be truly known by my partner. Dreams where I can place my full trust in him/her.

I dream of taking a midnight car ride with a guy, stopping at the end of a long gravel road and sharing stories on the metal roof. He’d have his arm around mine and I’d lean my head on his shoulder, truly satisfied.

I dream of going on a long hike with a girl, laughing and talking and helping each other along the way. At the end we’d kiss, pressing our sweaty foreheads together in the evening sun.

My dreams may seem unrealistic. They might be asking too much. Maybe my sexuality is just too “complicated” for others to understand. How dare I burden my friends and family with the weight of this secret? How dare I push against the stereotype of hereto-normalcy and be a queer girl? How dare my preferences venture beyond a single option?

Do my dreams, my desires, make me a sinner? Does the want of love and a pure relationship make me a sinner? Does my lack of boundaries make me a slut? No. I’m a normal teenage girl. I can’t comprehend the lack of inclusivity that members of both the straight and queer community exhibit.

In the words of Madeleine L’Engle, one of the greatest YA sci-fi authors ever, “We have to make decisions, and we can’t make them if they’re based on fear.” Though I’m afraid to date a girl, I’m even more afraid of missing out on something beautiful. Though I’m afraid of eventually coming out, I don’t want to live my life in hiding. And who knows? Maybe I’m not really bisexual. Maybe I’m just curious. But I can’t wait till I’m 35 to find out.

All dreams deserve to be fulfilled. Either that, or I’ll die trying.

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Re: “Bisexual Dreams” author needs advice

PLEASE give advice. Can someone who’s bi maybe share some insight? Maybe about their own journey? I’m a little confused right now.

A little backstory: I thought I was straight until about a month ago. My religion is against homosexuality, but my family and *some* of my friends are accepting. I’ve always considered myself a strong LGBTQ ally.

Recently, I saw multiple lesbian/bi things on social media and I’ve read articles about the history of pride month. This got me thinking: would I kiss a girl? The answer is yes, a thousand times yes. Of course I wouldn’t kiss ANY girl (I have preferences on looks and personality) but I’d do it. I also think I’d cuddle with one and do activities together.

I’ve had a crush on 2 guys in the past (one is still going on) and I’ve never had a crush on a girl. That being said, I’ve never met a lesbian that was out of the closet. In the past, I’ve thought close physical touch with girls would be nice, but that was in the context of friendship. I still think I’d only want to “officially” date a guy, because truly being bi and letting other people know scares me. I’d definitely lose some friends.

Again, please share tips for me. I need help with this. Is anyone familiar with the climate of high school GSA’s or LGBTQ clubs? Are they beneficial? Thanks so much!!!

Hey it’s “girl in red”😂

I totally get your thoughts and I’ve been where u r. Ik I’m lesbian and it took me 4 years to come out to my family. At first I also struggled with figuring out if I was just confused. To be real the only person holding u back is urself. U need to stop focusing on what other ppl will think or how u think they’ll react cuz if u do, you’ll never find happiness. Experience stuff and be open. Don’t get caught up over thinking, sometimes risks can take u where u want to be.