When i was born i killed my mum and myself. We both came back. At 2 I broke up my family...bye bye Daddy. Then I accepted HIM into the family...hello daddy 2. Daddy 2 sexually groomed me and my sisters. The first rape was at 6. At 15 I finally broke free of his manipulates.....after causing cracks in the family. My first ED appeared then. And my sf, just cutting, started. At 17 I first told the cops. Just to retract it and say I lied after running away and cutting my hair and changing chlothes. My first escape. Then bye bye daddy 2. Family broken a second time cause of me. Then I went off to uni. And i discovered paracetamol. I was constantly ODing. But somehow my body always brought me back. Then I broke again. And tried to run only to be sectioned. I rejected my family for months. Then i hung myself after finally talking to them again. I succeded but was brought back and after a week coma came back fine. Why. I wish i never had. Then lockdown. Cant get a job. Keep messing things up. Mummy died of cancer. It should have been me. Then i got in a relationship. I know i need to get out....i cant cause him pain because i know. I know that all ive thought about for over a week is trying again. I cant reach 25. I just cant. I need to say bye bye myself. Im sorry to my family but i just cant anymore. Why does my body not get the message?