me and my boyfriend of one year, we went to a friends field for a small party. There was also a caravan there which we all ended up in when it got cold out. Anyway we all drank, I don’t get affected by alcohol really so I felt fine but he seemed more drunk that normal. He kept feeling me up in front of our friends and he just made me feel uncomfortable but he was drunk so I wasn’t that annoyed - when I moved his hands he didn’t put them back if that’s what you’re thinking. Anyway, it was around midnight and it was just me and my boyfriend at one end of the caravan and my brother and his girlfriend at the other. We couldn’t see/hear each other but we knew they were there because they were looking after her brother who drank too much. So we were pretty much alone and my boyfriend told me it was okay if I wanted to sleep as I seemed tired - I said I wouldn’t and I never meant to. Anyway I fell asleep and woke up at one point to hear him tell his friends who wanted us outside that I was sleeping. And I slept again. Then, I woke up to his hand on mine. He had moved my hand down there, over his shorts but he was moving my hand and basically giving himself a hand job with my hand. I said ‘what are you doing I was asleep’ and he was like your were??’ I put on my coat to leave, he put his hand on my leg in a reassuring way but I moved away from him and went to get my brother. I didn’t tell him I just asked if we could leave as I was tired. So I left without saying bye to my boyfriend as he followed me out. The next morning he texted me asking if I was okay. I told him how I woke up the way I did, no clue that he had done that and that I wouldn’t have been in the mood anyway given the situation. He said he felt terrible and that he genuinely thought I was awake. The thing is, I’m 99% sure he’s telling the truth. He’s not done anything like this before. What bothers me is the fact that he never asked me. I never said yes. So awake or not, he didn’t get consent. I don’t know how to feel. I told him we are okay but he shouldn’t expect me to be okay for a while and he understands. But I feel strange. He technically assaulted me, didn’t he? I feel a bit empty and confused. I don’t know how to handle the situation. I’m upset because he wouldn’t have wanted this to happen either but I’m still upset with him anyway because no matter how it happened, it’s not what I wanted.