My 13 year old brother has been taking my underwear, bras, and leggings. I am 18 years old and I am very financially dependent on my parents.
I had noticed that some of my clothes were missing but I didn’t think much of it since I share clothes like leggings with my younger sister (my siblings are twins) and I could have left my underwear at my boyfriends house. Brushing the thought away a couple of months pass. Then my dad needed something out of my brothers closet and looked inside this bag he had never seen before hoping to find whatever he was looking for and found my things...with around 10 pairs of my underwear and various amounts of my bras and leggings. I was in total shock and disgusted that this had happened to me. I immediately wanted to confront my brother and was very flustered. My parents insisted that they would handle everything and that I should never speak of this to him as not to embarrass or hurt his feelings. What about my feelings?
My mom tried to downplay the situation by saying she had looked up stories similar to mine and that it was “common” and that basically “boys will be boys and he is just going through hormonal changes”. I do not doubt that he is growing up but he has zero respect for my personal boundaries and this makes me uncomfortable.
When my clothes were given back to me I found holes in the crotch in some of the underwear and leggings. I was sad that this was happening but livid that I had brought those clothes with my hard earned money and I worked for them and now they are destroyed.
I ignored my parents pleas to never confront him and asked him a couple days later to let myself cool down so I could keep a calm conversation and I went into knowing exactly what I wanted to say. I asked if he was cross dressing and that I full support if he wants to wear women’s clothes like that. We live in a very conservative town and I know that is not very accepting here. He said that was not the case and that he would never tell me why he had them. I didn’t ask anything more and walked out.
I was trying my best to pretend this didn’t happen again but now about a month or two later I feel like some of my bras and underwear are missing again... I am going to check tomorrow while he is in school if I can find anything. I know I’d be invading his privacy but to start with he had no respect for mine. If I find anything it will prove he still has no respect for my items. I will be extremely upset because I pay for my clothes too!
What do I make of this? Should I be worried for my well being?