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My Confusing Love Life

So here’s thing. My parents are Asian but we live in the U.S. Even though they don’t say it but I know if I date a American guy they won’t really be all that happy. I’ve never dated anybody and I’m 14. Ya I know what your thinking, laaaaaame. All my friends have dated 1 or more guys so I’m kinda just the odd one out. It kinda feels weird because whenever they talk about cute guys I’m never really included in the convo. It’s fine though because I’m still looking for my Mr.Right. I have liked some guys though but I never braudcast. I tell some of my closest friends that I trust. This guy has a Asian mom and a American dad so he’s not really considered Asian. I thought he was kinda cute for a while though. I wish I had enough confidence to go up to him and just ask him out but I’m scared that I’ll get rejected which is embarrassing. I don’t like him anymore though. I’ve also liked this other guy but he’s a player so you know that got over quick. In the beginning of the year this guy starts “flirting” with me in our school zoom meetings and I almost started catching feelings for him until I remembered he was the most racist person to me when the coronavirus was going on so that was over. Now I just don’t know. I mean I kinda want someone that would just be there for me other than my friends and family.