<p>Hello, to the person that's reading this. I'd like to share you my experience with Alexithymia. What's Alexithymia you may ask? Alexithymia (also known as emotional blindness) is a phenomenon or a personality trait and there isn't an exact treatment for it. It causes you to not be able to feel or identify your own or other's emotions. I'm not exactly sure if I was born like this or I got it at an early age, but this hasn't really been bothering me since I never really cared about my own well-being. I always felt like a bird stuck in a cage or a puppet on a string. It was always my personal goal to satisfy everyone's expectations around me. It was just one personality after another, one mask after another. But later on it didn't feel like I wasn't doing enough, it felt like I wasn't enough. I started trying to perfect myself and ate less and less. When I realized that I have Alexithymia and developing Bulimia/Anorexia I tried to break free, but I was too deep in this pit already. I was addicted. The feeling of starving myself was such a guilty pleasure. I just wanted to hurt myself, abuse myself, all while trying to mask it as best as I could. My family is fine and supportive, but I'm not ready to open up to them, I don't want to disappoint them any further. My head feels so heavy and my body so weak. I can't keep up. I can't get up anymore. Every time I talk with people it would absolutely break me from the inside out. I always try to put myself in their shoes to try and show empathy, but it's all such a blur and I can't identify anything. I know this is bad and I deserve a better mindset, but I can't seem to draw a line or snap out of this toxicity. Funny enough, I'm not sure if I want to leave the darkness. I keep crawling back. Hell, if I wouldn't be feeling this way I wouldn't have to anonymously vent to strangers, but I am attempting recovery alone. Now, thank you for reading all of this and possibly wasting your time, but I'll be grateful for every single word I'll read. I hope you're doing fine these days and if not, then please take a look on how far you've come in life! Take care. ❤ </p>

Hello, to the person that's reading this. I'd like to share you my experience with Alexithymia. What's Alexithymia you may ask? Alexithymia (also known as emotional blindness) is a phenomenon or a personality trait and there isn't an exact treatment for it. It causes you to not be able to feel or identify your own or other's emotions. I'm not exactly sure if I was born like this or I got it at an early age, but this hasn't really been bothering me since I never really cared about my own well-being. I always felt like a bird stuck in a cage or a puppet on a string. It was always my personal goal to satisfy everyone's expectations around me. It was just one personality after another, one mask after another. But later on it didn't feel like I wasn't doing enough, it felt like I wasn't enough. I started trying to perfect myself and ate less and less. When I realized that I have Alexithymia and developing Bulimia/Anorexia I tried to break free, but I was too deep in this pit already. I was addicted. The feeling of starving myself was such a guilty pleasure. I just wanted to hurt myself, abuse myself, all while trying to mask it as best as I could. My family is fine and supportive, but I'm not ready to open up to them, I don't want to disappoint them any further. My head feels so heavy and my body so weak. I can't keep up. I can't get up anymore. Every time I talk with people it would absolutely break me from the inside out. I always try to put myself in their shoes to try and show empathy, but it's all such a blur and I can't identify anything. I know this is bad and I deserve a better mindset, but I can't seem to draw a line or snap out of this toxicity. Funny enough, I'm not sure if I want to leave the darkness. I keep crawling back. Hell, if I wouldn't be feeling this way I wouldn't have to anonymously vent to strangers, but I am attempting recovery alone. Now, thank you for reading all of this and possibly wasting your time, but I'll be grateful for every single word I'll read. I hope you're doing fine these days and if not, then please take a look on how far you've come in life! Take care. ❤ 

<p>I can’t relate to you but for one thing I know that your family would want you to open yourself up and get out from darkness.There’s always a path where you would definitely get better and I know you will and you can.Even if you feel down for some days it’s normal I too feel that but always remember to stand back up for yourself.It’s really important to love yourself.You are great.</p>

I can’t relate to you but for one thing I know that your family would want you to open yourself up and get out from darkness.There’s always a path where you would definitely get better and I know you will and you can.Even if you feel down for some days it’s normal I too feel that but always remember to stand back up for yourself.It’s really important to love yourself.You are great.