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My feelings.

Im a 30+ individual living independently. I have many mental issues and i need to vent.

I go extra mile out of my way for people and in return i get bare minimum. I always try to be politically correct and never ever confront for the sake of not causing a stir. U can break my heart into a 1000 peices and ill not let u know and continue being your biggest supporter.

I feel the people around me know this and bend me backwards more then my capacity.

I cant be true and myself around people. I always react the way the other person wants me to react. I keep my opinions to myself because i dont want anybody to judge me. I can talk to you for 8 hours and never question you...

Also, I think of a reaction that a situation will have and if its not that way i feel very very bad. Like if i give food to my parents house just out of goodwill and i dont get the response i thought i would get i feel very very bad. Worthless. To be precise.

When i show my feelings to my brother or sister and they take it in a lighter way and deal with it casually i feel very bad. Its like i dont have a validity whereas for them i feel even the slightest emotion of theirs and react the best possible way as they would have loved.

Im sick and tired of doing stuff and then anticipating a reaction and then being miserable for the next day or two for not having that reaction. Its like a bottomless pit that i keep falling in. My actions are always taken so lightly as if im supposed to do these things. As if it was my duty in the first place...

Im not sure who is wrong. But i hate myself and everybody around me... i hate the feeling of being not my self and telling people confronting them that what i do is pretty big and that i had to go very out of my way to do it... But i never do that... I just do stuff n then never get the response and then i feel miserable...

Why do i do stuff because i like doing stuff but i hate the reactions... The response...the yeah u did it attitude...the mumbled up reaction...whereas the same people celeberate every other person... everyone else except me is important.. my doings are just doings and everybody else doings are blessings...

I dont know...

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Re: My feelings.

Darling, stop being a doormat

When you just give and give , people tends to take it for granted and always expect that your are always available in whatever capacity. STOP DOING THAT.

You don't need people's approval or respect or love especially if the people around you are like that.

The one person you needs approval from is you YOURSELF and only person you need to please is again yourself.

Treat them they way you get treated and please don't weigh their opinions about you over your own, let yourself be free and happy , and make friends with people who are genuine and shows gratitude and respect you and it can only happen when you start treating yourself the way you deserve, set the bar that is not allowed to be crossed by others and yes it will be difficult in starting but it's worth the fight if you want to have happy fulfilling life in your own terms.

All the best :)

You can't live your life to please other people. (As you have found out.) I also get caught in that trap. You're not wrong in being kind and thoughtful. Your error is when you gauge your worth on their response to your action. That will never work. I have the same problem. Do those things to please God but don't wait on what other people say or on them giving you credit.....That will never work. People are just naturally self centered....... They just are..... It will never change.