My feelings

Time Spent- 7m
10 Visitors

Well let’s start I was very depressed and had sh n suicidal thoughts all the time I didn’t get along well with my family even though I know they loved me but they would also say hurtful things to my face and I also have a lot of ptsd from when I was younger with my dad and rape , when I started a new year of skl I became bffs with a girl I didn’t used to get along with and to this day I’m really close with her , that few moths of school was great I was Finding myself doing new things but then once day this boy said something to me , let’s go back a bit me and this boy had seen eachother at family friend events a few times before he was is foster care and I heard he moved home n messaged him to see how he was and we messaged every day for 7 months and told eachother everything we loved eachother but then he moved countries it was hard but we still messaged and called every night , anyway 7 moths later after telling me he loved me n that he said he still liked his ex n I was heart broken but I was his friend I I helped him get through it and never said anything then I notbives he didn’t speak to me as much and that he kinda didn’t care anymore so I said it n he said well I only care about myself n really he didn’t care about me at all n we haven’t spoke in 7 weeks now and I keep looking at his ex’s pics thinking how I can be more like her and things n it breaks my heart it sounds stupid but I know him to well what we had was just different everyone pointed it out all our friends and family knew it so anyway I said to him y not tell me to leave u alone ages ago n he said idk , anyway I know he didn’t fake it all but like for a few months I know he felt different idk ok irdk it’s just eh idk I love him I wanna move on but ik he loved me that’s the thing he really did