I do not know what am I doing in my life. if I have some work I am delaying that work all the time. My laziness makes me horrible sometimes. I do not know why. I want to be active all the time. Because whenever I got free time I am starting to think about my friend whom I love. But he does not because he loves another person. And I respect that thing. I am trying so hard to stay focused on studies but somehow at the end, I am thinking that I wish he will be mine. I know that is the wrong thing totally. I stopped talking to him because I want to hide my feeling for him. I do not know what am I doing. This all thing is so confusing for me and why I can not stop thinking about him. I want to focus on my studies because I know that he will never be mine. And I do not want to spoil his personal life and love life. so, I stopped talking to him. Because I am not a good friend. I cheated him in friendship and developed feeling for him. I am sorry my friend. Sorry for my feelings.