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My friend

Trigger warning self harm, mental illness etc.


So recently i made a friend. I'd known her before that, we were friends, but not friend friends. So basically, i have anxiety, and so does she, we were half whispering about anxiety stuff, but she didn't know i had anxiety, and the way i implied it made it look like I'd made ut up. I also saw the cuts on her wrists and she thought that i was judging her, i was actually relating to her and thinking about when i was there. I saw her crying at lunch, and i could tell she wanted to tell me something but couldn't. I desperately want her WhatsApp so i can explain myself but I'm to scared to ask. We also talked about hiding our faces in hoodies, but school uniform stopping us, i brought that up which sounded like stereotypical tween girls, so idk if she believes me, also, she probably found me a little much bc she was having a bad day, and i was having good day (anxiety wise not work wise) . Also, someone said i worry too much, and i didn't know how to reply, so i didn't answer and i feel really bad. Also somebody commented about how happy i am, or how much i smile or something, o wanted to tell them it was all fake but i didn't have the confidence.

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Re: My friend

I go out in the world. People tell me I look like a movie star. Body of a super hero. I smile endlessly. I’m very sweet & polite. People think I’m so happy & healthy. But I’m really sad & dying from a disease.

It feels like we are actors. Smiling for the cameras; crying on the end side.

But tomorrow is usually better if you let it.


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