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My fucked up life

I have biggest secret no one knows about. It's about my family it's not normal as I lie to my friends. It's fucked up. So yeh straight to the point it's about my "DAD" I don't fell like calling him that. He was abusive to my mom I have seen him beat my mom right when I was a child every time I regret I couldn't stand for my mom. So basically he always run away if he sees any responsibility towards his family. He ran when he saw his children were growing to avoid educational expenses, he ran when we were struggling to have decent meal he was never there, it always happens like that 6 months no sign of him then suddenly appears as if nothing happened and blame to mom as it was her fault. My mother always feared of society she thinks they will blame her and it is not good for us children. She wanted us to protect from isolation which we could face if anyone knew that there father ran away. So father enjoyed this he went places enjoyed life had women not caring for anything in world. And we grew up like that no father figure my mother provided everything even though late but always managed to provide anything we could ask. Due to his abusive nature I nor my sibling ever dared to stand up my other one was affected deeply since other one is sensitive. Normally father word brings sense of safe and caring vibes but for us it was always fear. I hear my heart beating fast if I saw him at a distance but learnt to mask it. So yeh this cycles use to run like this and one time he ran and never returned we knew where he was even when I was near him he ignored my presence so for 6 years it went like this my lies were improved I successful lied without suttering or I imagined a family where everything was normal guilt always ate me inside I wanted to scream and yell about my situation but I feared to see pity in there eyes I didn't want them to treat me different. So recently I heard he got married. Yes he was dead to me all this years but hearing this it broke me. I dono what to do what to feel it's like my bubble of normal family broke. I feel pathetic that I can't do anything but cry for the injustice in life.

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Re: My fucked up life

A part of your story sounded like a mirror to my life. My dear friend, looks like God has finally removed the negetive person from your life (by making him get married to someone else). Stay strong and try not to let that person enter your life again.

I'm sure you will lead a wonderful life ahead.