Ever since i hit puberty (around the age of 13) everytime I'd get mad i would be violent and destructive, I'd yell and hate everyone around me. At first i thought it was just my hormones at work. But as i got older things got a lot worse, I've become less and less capable of controlling myself, i haven't done menacing things but I'm truly afraid to be pushed that far. I've tried to understand how i react when I'm angry, and the first thing that happens is that my adrenaline goes high. I'm in fight or flight mode and I'm being very aggressive. A lot of reasons led me to believe that i have IED(Intermittent Explosive Disorder). I've been bullied for a long time now and i think that my anger, my hatred, my ''absolute rage'' is present in me because of that same reason. I've always had these violent thoughts of hurting people that i hate. But i never achieved any of that, because i feel i still have a bit of control, and that control is my fear of doing something that i can't go back from. Sometimes it feels like i have the devil inside. I don't like these feelings, and i dont know for how long i can be myself before i snap.