5 months ago
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My horrible secret

I don't know if I should tell anyone this but I have kept a secret from my family for about 20 years now the secret is that I was raped by my father he did died about two years ago and still no one knows about my secret I don't know if it'll do anything for me to just tell them now or just keep it to myself forever.

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5 months ago

Re: My horrible secret

You must tell it to them. It's their rights to know it anyway. You are family. That burden you are having right now, will be bigger and hard to carry. Tell them now before it gets heavy that you won't be able to carry it anymore and you'll just explode. I've been there. It was hard to tell them. But once you do, it will help you to move forward. Keep safe.

I completely and totally disagree with the previous responder.

You should work out your issues with a trained psychologist who can help you to overcome what happened to you.

However, I think it would be unwise to reveal your secret to your family unless you are prepared to deal with some serious fall-out.

After all, how will you feel if your mother or your siblings choose not to believe you?

What if they accuse you of conveinent lying against someone who cannot possibly defend himself against your accusations.

How would you feel if they cut off communication from you?

Take it from me. I came forward about my uncle's sexual behaviour when he was on his death bed, and most of my family still won't talk to me, and many of them think that I accused my uncle just to embarrass his wife and kids, as though I would take joy in that.

If your father were still living and there was a chance that he would molest or rape others, then I would tell you to confess everything to your family and take any consequences as long as you're potentially helping to protect other children.

In this case, though, the risk of alienating your family might outweigh any perceived benefit in disclosing.

All that being said, I am genuinely sorry for what you experienced. No one ever deserves to be raped.