you know me so well better than anyone else alive think you could tell them something that would help them find me? when I commit to it, they will not find me for weeks, months even. i promise you this much the largest obstacle to your success vanishes without a trace. certainly you would be much happier sorry to stand in between you and hapiness sorry I thought I was happy with you delusion is a mother. my mother has moved on yours calls me to check on you. does she not know I am the enemy? surely you would have told her. I turned your brother against you? despite your assertion, he is not retarded and can draw his own conclusion. you need me for nothing. that is all I have left to offer you. I have failed. failed as a child, as a sibling, as a father and as a spouse. these conclusions are not my own, Im trusting in you and in the words you tell me. as a best friend, and as a lover. my existence is beneath your own. sorry to have thought for an instance we were as lovers or equals. May you find the peace and happiness in my absence I was unable to provide you everybody else...... I am so sorry to have betrayed you as such. I have always had issues with feeling as though I was a burden to you. I admit these notions were purely manufactured by my subconscious and that pride kept me from asking you for help dad never taught me that. or how to admit I was in trouble. Not that I'm blaming him. I feel so invisible and oftentimes have in the past. this should explain my distance to you. please remember my legacy well and be kind. no matter how much you hurt or feel separated from reality. I love you all beyond measure and apologize for not having the strength to carry on any further. Most gun suicides transpire when the student shoots their terrible master. For this reason, you shall find holes in my heart, not in my head. Please leave my remains for the insects birds and foxes. some creatures may surely profit from my demise. Hunter S Thompson. Robin Williams. Chris Cornell. Elliott Smith. David Foster Wallace. My personal friends Angela and Kenneth Claude. May I see you on the other side. Far farlander Fare thee well.