in 5th grade, I went to middle school. Didn’t think It would be fun at all. I was fat and ugly. The popular kids wanted to be friends with me. I thought it was just because they felt bad for me. In 6th grade, I got bullied for being gay. I wanted to die so badly. Everything escalated quickly when I tried to run away and commit suicide. I felt like shit. I had to go to therapy. Those kids didn’t know about what I’ve done and I want them to hurt so badly except I don’t want them to because I played it off as a rumor except it was true. The guy I liked even exposed me when I slipped something inside his locker and wrote my locker number on it so that we could send letter. I was so foolish, thinking I actually had a shot at getting a boyfriend at that time. In 7th grade, I had nobody. My best friend moved away and I was alone. I had other friends but it wasn’t the same. None of this wouldn’t have happened if I had just said nothing to my best friends friend who convinced me to tell him who my crush was. Turned out he was friends with my crush. He told him and told everyone else in the grade. I try to put it all behind me in the past, except I was unable to. I moved after 7th grade ended. I still had those thoughts about how they are raised in a wealthy family and how they think they are powerful. I have school yearbooks and I look at them to see my old friends. I had fake friends too but I simply crossed them off with black permanent sharpie..... 2016 I was in 5th grade. I wanted to feel good about myself. I added people from Omegle and shared some nudes. Biggest regret of my life. I now have insecurities. I felt like a total idiot. I want real friends. I want to have a normal life with friends who I could talk to and be myself around. But in this world, there is no trust. No mercy. Everyone only thinks about themselves and not others.