I am a 15 year old Indian male and I have ADHD. I learned this just recently from my parents and frankly it was relieving, because continuing to blame myself everyday would have inevitably crippled my self esteem for the rest of my life. Surprisingly enough my grades are relatively good. I lean heavily towards the inattentive side of a ADHD so i need to sink in hours upon hours of effort to maintain good grades. So you may be asking - "Why make this post if you're doing well?". Well its because i can feel myself slipping. Everyday my grades get a bit lower, my focus is a bit worse. There's always a new problem I can't meet head on. The more i fight to keep my place the more i hurt everyone around me. I've slowly come to realize im just working towards a goal with no fruition. I have no passion, no people to relate to, no interests or hobbies. I just throw myself into work because its the only thing i have. My parents raised me to only care about grades and even though they realized their mistake later on into my life it was too late. I can't do anything else without feeling immense guilt. My two constant feelings are just apathy and depression. My entire family pities me, and I can't socially interact with anyone or understand any situation. I'm like an arrow, I'm only any good when someone points me at something. And the worst part, there are more people like me out there, people that just know whats coming and the inevitability of their actions. All I see when i look at other people or myself is all their flaws and it's ruining my life. I'm so incredibly hopeless that I came out here hoping to ask help from strangers on the internet in an incredibly disjointed self serving article. I came to this hoping to write a cry for help but I'm realizing this isn't a cry for help. It's a fucking death rattle.