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ok this is a long one

Im tired but can't sleep wanna know why because I have sleep deprivation yes I have sleep deprivation and the age of 13 and man has it been hard I mean tossing and turning all night long for me to sleep at 5am and wake up 2 hours later and pretend like nothings happened I mean my mom and dads separation has been REALLY hard on me like REALLY hard. I know I should speak up but I don't want too, at the moment I'm being bullied at school not like bad bullying but still bullying and boy is it hard now I like actually put in an effort for school because my dumbass thinks that if I put makeup on he will stop bullying me but that is not the case at all! he calls me names like potato he told me to go back to my old school and said that my mom lives in a council home and I mean he's not wrong like at all like my moms lives of benefits at the moment. This is my first time on this and man is it good to vent like wow ✌️. Ok and I basically have no friends I've got two and they're not my type of friends but without them I would be the loser eating lunch all by herself and I'm thankful for that! So I really wanna make friends with this girl but I'm too shy I mean I am her friend but I wanna join her group but she doesn't seem really open about letting other people into her group so that seems a bit awkward. AND all my friends from back home (btw when my mom and dad separated I had to move FAR AWAY from them like a whole new city) ok so all my friends from back home aren't even trying to keep in touch with me like wow I knew you for 4 years and you are just going to pretend like I don't exists even though I text u every day for you to take over 4 hours to respond like boy is it heard being a teenager these days...

The worst of it all that this lockdown has made me the happiest I've been in 2 years yes 2 frickin years and I'm scared to go back to school because I really don't want too but I have too because of mom and law and legal shit and all that but I'm scared to go back to school imma fall back into my old habits not eat at school to try and lose weight and have sucidial thoughts after this boy bully me over and over again and no I'm not going to tell anyone about my problems I just really REALLY needed to vent and I've done so, so thank you for listening sorry for the bad grammar and just one big fat thank you from the bottom of my heart.