I have depression and anxiety, although i was not clinically diagnosed i know i am. Have been feeling this since 6th grade and it got much more worse.
I'm venting my emotions here since i do not want to alarm my friends and family. I also don't want my family to invalidate what i'm feeling so hi internet, you'll be reading this instead of my family.
I was never the kind of person to tell a very deep and personal story to people who i interact with daily so there is this wall that exist between me and my friends and im okay with it.
So anyways. I don't think i will be able to live anymore. I'm basically destroying and abusing this body of mine until it breaks, until it dies. No one knows since no one cares. I usually try to starve myself and just sleep very late to have that unhealthy lifestyle. I couldn't sleep anyways, i have insomnia.
I feel like i wouldn't be able to keep sleeping medications near me. I'm afraid of one day just getting the bottle and drinking all of its content just to ease my suffering.
I can't reach out. I just feel suffocated. I dont know. Life sucks.