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My mess of a life

Hi. So I'm just venting. Starting in the beginning, 3rd grade I had a wlw crush on my friend and didn't think anything of it l. Then I had another and I decided to look into it, found gay and the les and then that all fell into place. 'F*ck I'm bi'. I told my close friends the next day only to find out that they were all gay too, Nice. I kept looking into it for the next 2 yrs, and found the trans community (this is where it gets fun). I already knew trans ppl existed but just hadn't really looked into it. Found out about Nonbinary and that that was an umbrella term and all that stuff. And then I realized 'wait I feel like this too.' And so I have spent the last 2 yrs questioning my gender on top of coming out as bi, dealing with homophobia (nc sucks) and then than that made me suicidal anxious and depressed, not telling anyone about this. Basically my mental health is BAD. Anyways I made a binder and I cried when I wore it for the first time and so I made a more 'permanent' one (it broke today) and bought a real one with a gift card. So basically I'm a bi, trans(?), suicidal, anxious, depressed 12 yr old mess who lives in Southern USA during a pandemic and revolution. Well my phone is about to die but I may do a prt 2 cause I have barley scratched the surface. -b