there is something extra fucked up about constantly inviting my childhood rapist over for everyday possible. i shouldn’t have to be used to this. but used to this still looks like being afraid to sleep under the same roof as this man. it looks like laying underneath my blankets, hardly being able to breathe. it looks like hiding from the person who hurt me but pretends he didn’t. how can you make your own kid go through this? you say it’s because i have to move on, but is this really how i do that?