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My mom is too obsessed with a perfect life she wants to create for me to the point that it's unhealthy.

I had been a student with straight A's when I was around 1st-4th grade and that was the period it had started, I guess.

As a kid, I was afraid of even getting B's and even that kind of result can anger her severely. She would scream, punch me just to get me only A's.

As I got older, I had started to slip away from the attitude as the studies didn't bring me any motivation or joy anymore.

The punishment has gotten worse. One time I just got so fed up that I didn't even react to the belt she used on me and she threatened to kick me out of the house when I was just 15.

I once told the school psychologist and she said I need help and told my mom that she should stop. After my mom found out what I did, she said that psychologist is doing all for school's reputation and student who attempted suicide (I told psychologist I had thoughts) doesn't look good for record so psychologist doesn't care about me. I gained trust issues.

I know that grades are not the most important trait of my personalities and shouldn't be in the first place but I'm feeling like my mom affected me a lot. I compare myself to the others, I don't feel so confident. There are times I cry a lot just from the mention of my angry mom or punish myself as well like refusing to eat for days when I make a mistake. I tried choking myself several times.

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Re: My mom is too obsessed with a perfect life she wants to create for me to the point that it's unhealthy.

I am just like you but I have to bear it until my 12th grade , until now (I am going to be a college student now from next month).

I know how it feels when you get A's in every exam and when you get B in a single exam , your mother is ready to kill you .

I have experienced it . I didn't have a psychologist or counselor in my school . I didn't make many friends and I was afraid of doing anything without her permission. But she is changed now , she behaves like that when she is angry and I know she wants my best . But she overreacts sometimes.

I , today , got result of my entrance and I got great marks , so now I can get any college of my interest and today my mother is extremely happy .

Now , I just want to say that , it is your life , jut bear a little more until you can be independent and you don't have to depend on your mother for everyday needs and then you will be happy .

Try to do other things like playing games in mobiles and watching kdramas and stuff .

I am not telling you to stop study but take some time off and don't tell your mother , otherwise she will make it a big issue .

Just help yourself and dream about your better future.