Background about MIL (Mother-in-law). She immigrated to the USA over 40 years ago, but still does not speak English. She has a 4th-grade level education and has never raised a child (her three children were raised by their aunt and grandmother). She did not marry for love, but just for the sole-purpose of pro-creating.I truly care about her and her well-being, however can only take her in small doses (her own children also agree). She’s a shopaholic hoarder whose passion lies in showing off. Examples include getting an expensive SUV to show friends but she rarely drives it because modern cars confuse her; buys her friends expensive gifts without reason; takes thousands Pictures and videos (not kidding) of everything to show her friends. These pics and videos even include simple things like “look at all this food I prepared for my family. Do you see these oranges? They are so sweet and better that other oranges”- by the way, she usually doesn’t do the cooking. She’ll also shove it in your face how much she spends on you. She, who is in her 60’s, also threw a temper tantrum because she didn’t like the house we bought. Although she admits it is a nice house in person, it is not that photogenic so she can only verbally brag about it to her friends and can’t show off pictures. During my wedding, she brought a hoard (like 20 people) into my bridal suite while we were getting ready so she could show off how nice the room. Some of us were half-naked, getting dressed and had to run into the bathroom because we were not expecting that. Some of her “friends” also attempted to steal stuff from my wedding...Anyway, what is triggering my venting is that I now have a 3 month-old son that she is meeting for the first time due to her living 2 states away and the pandemic preventing us from traveling. We made the decision to travel because my father-in-law just passed away (which she was happy about).i am happy for her to meet her new grandson but I am furious over her behavior. She has ripped him from my arms multiple times despite me telling her it’s not a good time (nap time, feeding time, bath-time, etc). Not only does she essentially steal him, but she doesn’t hold him properly: no head support, arm is awkwardly squished, shaking him aggressively, etc. She also uses him as a prop in her thousands of pictures she uses to show-off. She’s even more motivated to do so because my son turned out to be very cute, not just saying that because I’m his mother. because he’s so cute and young, MIL now wants to move close to us, despite her other children and grandchildren living closer. This is an issue because she doesn’t listen. If I were to tell her that my son were deathly allergic to nuts, she’d ignore it and give him ice cream or a candy bar with nuts in it (she has attempted to feed me multiple things I’m allergic to because she forgets or doesn’t understand the allergy). She has already attempted to give my son water, which can be toxic to infants under 6 months old.the way she mentioned the idea to my husband and me was also infuriating. She says it’ll be better if she takes care of my baby instead of me (remember, she has technically never raised a child) and that I should prioritize more important things like going back to work and “having fun”....there is NOTHING that takes higher priority than me taking care of my child!my husband agrees that her living near us will not be ideal (one of the reasons he and his siblings all moved away from her). However she may very well just do it anyway. I have expressed to my husband that if this were to happen that I will no longer be able to stay tactful and respectful around her and that I will shut her out and tell her off. Part of me even entertained the idea of divorce just because of the possibility of her moving near us bc she will visit every day and continue to try to steal my son from me and do things against our wishes. She forced herself onto my sister-in-law by moving in her in with her for a month after her 2nd child was born. Not only was it a hassle getting MIL to listen but MIL also literally rearranged her whole house without permission. My poor sister-in-law still can’t find some things that were moved and it’s 5 years later and MIL doesn’t remember where she moved those things. If MIL moved close to us, this would be a long-term struggle that we do not need in our life.