When my grandfather on my Dad's side died she made it all about her. All about how she didn't think her in-laws liked her. All about how she didn't get a thank you for helping when he was sick. All about how I was a big mouth when my mother is the one who spews out lies about other people and scandalous gossip. All I do is give too much detail on people's day to day activities.
My mother bullies my father and he stands their and takes it. In all fairness he is faithful to his marriage vow when most people would leave. I admire him for that. If she were my wife I would grab her and shake the living hell out of her. He says it is her menopause but she has been like this more and more since 2005. That is 16 years of nut-job.
Meanwhile she has annually barred my father from having holidays with his family because she wants it to be about "HER". Since my Dad has no balls he goes along plus they both fear my maternal grandmother (Mom's mother) and I have no idea why as she is just fine and not scary. So I miss out and then I get picked on as "obsessed" when I do more for my Dad's half of the family because I have to make up for lost time especially at holidays.
It is a shame because this is my mother's legacy. Her legacy is that of a bitter mother who cost us time with family. It is the reason her in-laws don't like her and I do not blame them one bit. They are discreet about it so it is not like they are mean to her face. They were too sarcastic behind her back once but it was just the same as what my Mom and her family have done to her brother's wife. My mother is a hypocrite who uses her kids against her enemies. Actually, just like her brother's wife so it makes me wonder if they are somehow blood relatives.
My mother has left a bad legacy of division and has cost me time with family. She is a very selfish person.