My Son, my first born child how i love you so very much. I wish things were different for you i wish life was easier, such a troubled boy so many complex issues in and out of hospital most of your life missing out on schooling and having a "proper education" actually stopped attending school in year 5 so many problems there for you. I wish i was more intelligent and wise so that i had the necessary tools to help you get through it but i admit i failed you miserably its my fault you spent your childhood in hospital and in the intensive care unit fighting for your life more times than i can count and its my fault you slipped through the education net and can not read or write its my fault you turned to others for the adventure you seeked albeit the wrong sort. Its my fault i was stupid enough to ask others for help with you and that backfired devastatingly with you rebelling and ending up with you spending much of your adolescents "in care" or in a youth detention center, a result of you mixing with the wrong crowd and being manipulated into doing wrong. Its my fault you are so clearly unsettled and struggling with life being as you are now 28 and in and out of adult prison. Im so sorry for all that has occurred to you in your life my son. You are now officially listed as a missing person where ever you are i hope and pray that you are ok and not caught up in anything that will get you into trouble my son despite all my failures i can not give up i have to keep telling myself that you are ok i know you can not read this but maybe someone else who knows you will and if that happens i would be very pleased.