So recently I have been in a low place. I used to be really fat and I decided to turn my life around to get girls. My ex always called me fat and was abusive, I found my home in the gym and now I am in the top 2% of lifters for my age group(I’m 19) and I’m 8% body fat 225 lbs. she messed me up bad so once we broke up I looked for other women to prove to myself I wasn’t ugly. Recently I had hooked up with a friend, I was receiving oral sex from her and right as I was about to orgasm she got in too of me and I nutted inside of her. I’m not ready for a child and she missed her period. I don’t know how I can do this with an abortion if she is pregnant, I am was raised religious but I found it hard to stay involved because my church Always made me feel so guilty. Now I am praying she isn’t pregnant and I want to turn my life around after this and do better. I just need an outlet because this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and I hardly sleep. I’m a Medical technologist and I used to work on a covid 19 unit and I have been around so much death that it is all catching up to me now.