suicide
pain
knife
time

My suicide attempt

Time Spent- 42m
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it was summer. I don't remember the date or what day it was. The song Asleep by The Smiths was playing. I was wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a zip up hoodie. I laid down on my bed and took a old shoe box, filled with souvenirs and other memories. At the bottom of the box was a steak knife or whatever its called. The saw like one. I wrote a note to my friends and family, took the knife to my wrist and made a cut. It wasn't deep enough so i just kept cutting with the rigid knife. It hurt so bad but i didn't mind because all of the pain would be over soon. I just kept going until i hit something. I laid down again. The song was still playing, but all i could hear was my blood, dripping down my arm onto the wood floor. I started to get sleepy and feeling light, yet heavy at the same time. Then i was hit with this panic. I saw the floor, i saw my hand, and then i froze. There was blood everywhere. I still remember the smell like it was yesterday. It smelled like coins, but a very specific type of coin. The blood felt cold on my wrist. With my other hand that i had tried to cut too, but i was too weak to do so, i grabbed my wrist and put pressure on it. I didn't know what to do. I went to bathroom and put my hand under the water. That hurt too. After a long time, the bleeding stopped. I ran to my room and put the knife in the box, took my sheets and cleaned the floor. I threw the sheets in the wash and bandaged up my wrist. My hands still feel cold. I can still smell the blood. I can still feel the knife against my skin. I can still feel the panic. I can still feel the bleeding. I haven't listened to The Smiths since. I still have the knife with my blood on it. I still have the pain.






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