I don’t know what came over me today, it’s 2:57 am now, and I just can’t sleep, because you keep coming to my mind but I just can’t take it anymore, I need to tell you now, I need to tell you, but as I can’t say this to your face, the media’s the second best option right? How many years has it been now? 6 years! Precisely 6 years that I’ve liked you like crazy! LIKE CRAZY! It all began in 2015! In city college, well that’s when I started to like you, but you know what? We’ve known each other from way before, oh well, or I’ve known you before that. I guess we don’t have a lot in common, I’m the nerdy type, you are the sporty type. I love books, and nature and art, you love sports, and friends and family. You love travelling and games, I love to daydream about going on a solo trip, you love birds, and cat and fish, and im an animal lover in general. I could go on and on about this but let’s get to the point first. The first time I saw you was in a relative’s house, it was a celebration of a kind, but let’s not get into details….well I saw you for like 2 seconds, but your image stuck with me….and later in the future, you even gave me some notes through a friend, u didn’t know it was me, and I didn’t know it was you either, but I guess it was fate! Or not? Anyway I’m sorry that I’m all over the place, but I’m not very good with confessions, never had to make one before….as you have been my one and only real life crush all my life! Anyway fast forward 1 year from then, I met u at city college, it was the beginning of my first year, and you were in 2nd year, I was getting out of the classroom and boom! we almost crashed (ALMOST) you were passing with your friends from there, damn that annoyed look you gave me! I guess you were in a bad mood, But as I was saying sorry you just walked past me! No apology And then what! I kept seeing you here and there, but of course you never saw me, but it was good and comforting in a way, as I could look at you all I wanted without getting caught! This went on for ages, finally I mustered up the courage to send you a friend request, you accepted, and I felt like I could die of happiness or nervousness? either way I was really very happy, I knocked you first and everything was going so smooth, we talked a lot at first but then I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life and told you who I was, and how I know you cause you’re a distant acquaintance and boom you never knocked me after that but I did, we had some really meaningful conversations, I was drawn to you more by knowing more about you, you told me about your dreams, what army meant to you how much your mom and brother meant to you, how deeply you cared for them , and kept on liking you more, as if that was even possible I cried for you so often in my prayers just wanting you to notice me too, you were in the same ict batch as I was but of course, our shifts were different, you told me how much you admired our teacher, and had so much respect for him too, and damn…I kept melting for you. We talked twice in our life up front, and I still remember every single word you said, what I replied. You know, I stayed up so late even during my h.s.c. exams, just for you, because you were free back then and almost were everyday on facebook till 4 am, so I stayed awake, I stayed awake waiting patiently for you to knock me, but you never did, at first I knocked you first always, but after a while I stopped cause I figured if you were interested in me too, you’d knock me first sometimes too, right? this went on for months, so after a certain point I gave up trying to pursue you, because that’s just how I am, and that’s how liking someone is, you can’t force someone to do that, i didn’t text you after that, but you know I wrote so many letters to you, I still have them, I just never sent them. I even wrote a poem for you on your birthday and sent it to you from an anonymous number at 12 am sharp!. Maybe it seemed nothing special to you, but that was all I could give you, because we never met outside of college. I still remember your birthday every year, but I don’t wish you anymore, just make a silent prayer for you and will always do that. Then i sent you 3-4 anonymous texts on your number, but you asked me to stop if I wasn’t going to tell who I am, you wrote “ar text na dile khushi hobo” so I stopped. Later after seeing you silently for another year, I unfriended you, cause I just couldn’t go on anymore seeing your pics, posts on a regular basis but not being able to talk to you. And the worst part is, you probably don’t even remember me, don’t remember those meaningful conversations, nor the silly names, nor the poem, nor my texts, but I remember each and every single detail even after all these years, even after all these years of not seeing you or your pics, well I did see you, here and there…but I guess you never noticed me. Why am I saying this after all these years? When you probably have a girlfriend now or not…because I still haven’t forgotten you, and with this disastrous corona situation in Khulna too, almost everyday I let my parents know how much I love them, but I’d really have deep regrets if I died without even telling you once how I felt. With that being said, I thank you if you read this and I thank you even if you didn’t. I wish you all the happiness in the world ontu, it doesn’t matter who you are with now or who you end up with, you will always be special to me and this someone will always pray for your wellbeing .