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My wiered story..karma comes back to me

I m 24 years boy... I was tried to be sexually abused when i was in 7th class..then i indulge in adult magazine after some time..n porn... As i was molested ...dont it was the effect of that.. i got my mind in such activities ..i felt horny ..i tried to make sexual contact with my cousin..she was 7 years younger then me .. it was wrong ..but i dont know whats wrong with me... I do this for some years..when she get 13 i think she did nt allow me to do any thing.. then i tried to molest one boy by giving him greed of money... By having blow job by him... I started watching lot of porn...daily masturbating... After that one or two times i try to molest young boys.... I was totally pushed my mind in this..i was not aware that i am doing wrong... After some years... I get in to depression.and anxiety.. Then all my mistakes stated giving me fear and gulit of the mistakes i had done...i m in a relationship...i was feeling guilty that my gf thinks that i m a nice guy..n i did such bad things in my life... As i m suffering from this issue anxiety disorder... Few days back i checked my cousins phone ...that cousin which i try to molest... She has porn history in her phone..she is 17 in thnk now...i watch her history n...i started feeling horny and again getting sexuaaly attraction towards her.... That day i said nothing to her...i tried to avoid her...because i dont want this sexual attraction towards her...next day i again check her history..she watched family incisted porn...then i get more attraction n ask her. That why u watch these videos...she said every body watch... N suddenly she said i m aware. Of that thing u tried to do in childhood time.. she started crying... N i got shocked that she remember...n i got scare....i apolozise that in that time i dont know whts wrong...i got in to bad habits so thats why i dome that mistake...she said i under stand...m not going to tell any body... But from that day my anxiety got double. That she remember that incident.... As from few past days i was in guilt of that think...and after i know that she remembers then my guilt get double ... N m got in to fear that if some other person know. This ...what will happen then.... From that day... I am not able to making even eye contact with her... I am having scaring feelings...my anxiety got double.... I m in anxiety n guily of doing these mistakes and having these attractions ..i dont know that these things are dur to watching so much porn or some thing else... I got sexually attracted towards young boys...but after that attraction i started having anxiety..fear..that whats happening witj me...n i dont want this ..... This shit is happening with me.... I quit porn masturbation since one month... I think it will help... I want a normal life...life without guilt...fear...anxiety...depression..... god help me...... I aplolozise forall my mistakes in my life i had done..pls forgive me....