Near Panic Attack from Embarrassment

Time Spent- 5m
8 Visitors

So I’m pretty sure I have IBS or something similar. I don’t have the money to go to a doctor, so I’m not diagnosing myself. I just know that my gut has not been normal since I was a preteen.

Anyways, I get pretty bad flare ups of—and this is hard to me to talk about—diarrhea. Doesn’t matter if I eat a meal that usually agrees with me, it just comes and goes. I usually handle it okay because the other people who live with me aren’t close to the bathroom, I can normally just relax and relieve myself without worrying about them hearing. However, we have a guest staying with us and get this: the guest room is right. next. to. the. bathroom; my worst nightmare.

I got up this morning and immediately knew my gut had finally gotten tired of being so kind to me for the past two weeks. I’ve restricted my diet to better suit my sensitivity, and it’s helped the flare ups fade to once every week or even three weeks if I’m lucky. But my gut started rolling and I felt that urge (for anyone who has ever dealt with a stomach bug, you know). Instantly, I started shaking and broke out in a cold sweat, which only made my stomach worse, because our guest was in their room... Now, this bathroom has thin walls, so I knew they could hear everything if I went. So I waited. Luckily, they had something planned and were about to leave, which normally they stay home all day since they’re on vacation. I was able to get away with using the restroom after they left, but I nearly had a panic attack thinking about what might happen if they had stayed and I had to apologize for all the embarrassing sounds.

Now I can’t stop shaking because I’m worried that my flare up will continue for a few days. (By the way, this guy is staying for a MONTH)

I’m so sick of being sick. And I wish I wasn’t so shy, like those people with IBS who know how to talk to their friends about it. I’m to the point where I just want to hide away and never eat a morsel again...