Needing to get something off my chest

Time Spent- 2m
7 Visitors

I told my love interest about some things that were said about her by certain people who've had it out for my younger brother in the past. They ended up not being true and she decided to cut me off to keep herself safe. She thinks I intended to lie to her but I thought I was helping. I trusted someone who hated her since others were also talking about the things that were said. There were enough people talking for me to believe that the talking was true. I know I'm innocent but I don't think I have access to evidence to show her I'm innocent. I genuinely love her. I did self-inflicted punishments such as cutting, starving, sleep deprivation and shamed myself. I'm into spirituality and we're the other's karma. It's been a cycle where something major will happen that makes us not be in contact then I crawl back to her because she's my world and my will to live. I'm scared she won't come back. It hurts even more how she said that she didn't want to give us up for anything. I hate how I can't get her out of my head and i just want to be able to sit down and talk about it like mature adults. I honestly just want someone to talk to because it's hurting me. I have a suicide plan in case she wants me to commit. I've attempted in the past as well. I got admitted to the hospital because I got to such a dark place and my mental health was so bad. I just can't bare the thought of losing her. I know she's the only one I could ever commit to and now she's gone because I trusted the wrong person. Any unsolicited advice I could get? Thank you!