Im so damaged it was always going to be be impossible to live a normal life. I’m like a shell of a person trying to imitate life. But it’s all coke apart. Can’t even end it as I have a daughter. Constantly feel sick and tired. Drink and smoke to keep the panic at bay. Life never changes I’m frozen in time watching everyone live theirs. With a few hours a day to just try to pretend well enough. I’ve completely given up but I’m going to have to come up with a way forward. I know things won’t change much but a plan or direction of some sort to see me through to the end with some basic dignity.